Seth is a good man. He’s never late to work, waters the plants from his two-rooms apartment, and take cares of Leo – the old one-eyed dog without who has no master now. He’s a true family man and always makes sure there is love inside his house.
Our buddy has always been a good guy with a big heart. He finished his university with very high grades, he’s non-violent and has taken in a lot of offenses from his fellow human friends, which he forgives with an artificial smile of inside sufferance. He avoids getting in any arguments with people and accepts compromises when someone cuts him off in line.
But lately, his acting performance has degraded exponentially. Seth finds it increasingly more difficult to hide the overwhelming burden of having regrets. he’s not young anymore and has always done everything by the book. His life has always been a disciplined flow of events, based on religion, society, parents. He values his low-paid job and does not pay too much attention to socializing and taking some time off. He does not have time to follow his dreams; he actually finds dreams to be only for kids.
Nobody can deny his absolute obedience. Now he’s looking at the clock very concerned; he also sees in the mirror the bright reflection of the sunlight on his bald head. Yes, time goes by quickly and our Seth is already a ripe fruit. He always did what has been told to do by his parents, society and the people around him.
He always tried to please everybody and to be a nice company to have around. He hoped something would eventually change in his life, that someday God will send him a miracle, in a very clear manner so he could acknowledge it. He always has in front of him that mirage, but the more he runs towards it, the less likely it seems he could reach it. Something is not right and Seth can’t take it any longer.
– “Why God, why? I always did what I have been asked to do, I obeyed the Bible and been a good citizen.Why do I have this feeling of running old without having accomplished anything I really wanted with my life? I have spent my life trying to be who I was told I needed to be, I ignored my passions to please the others. I chose to ignore who I really felt I could be, only to fit better with my designed role which society has given me. I chose to ignore myself only to exist and have a paycheck. Is all this not enough? Don’t I deserve a miracle for this?”
[…] “Why I am not truly happy? Why is fate so tough on me? I would love to travel, to paint pictures, to sing, to accomplish things other would write books about. But… that is just wishful thinking, I know I am not capable of doing any of that… What would my parents say about me? What the people around me would say if I would suddenly choose a different course of life? No, I can’t do it… honestly God, I really can’t do that. Please give me strength! I need a miracle to save me, I want to wake up tomorrow morning as a new man, I want the Universe to take care of me. I am a good man and deserve that…”
“Why are other people luckier than me? Why do others choose to be bad people but still they have success in life? Is the Devil controlling them? Sure, they must have done something illegal, otherwise they could not be financially successful… Or maybe they had a rich family who offered them everything. But they have surely not worked legally and honestly. I am above them, I am a good and honest man and God will reward me for that.
I would like to follow my passions, but what if I will starve to death? What if I fail to accomplish my goals? I’m sure I can’t sustain myself just by doing what I love. And it’s also not going to be easy doing all that, it’s a lot of work. I am a realist, I refuse to believe in dreams!”
Tears are covering his wrinkled cheeks, which bear marks of a hard life. Seth continues asking questions, but his beliefs start getting weaker. This is not the life he has been promised as a child! It should have been different, things should have just fall into place… But his destiny, fate and dark forces have been against him… And time has gone by much too fast, he didn’t get a chance to pay attention.
Seth is starting to lose track of his questions. He lies down a bit; his body is not as receptive as it used to be. “Where is that miracle which should save me?” His eyelids get heavier and his breathing get slower. “Why God, why? I trusted you…” Seth would like to turn back time and change so many things! There were so many things to do, but he never had enough time, he had to do his job, there were always other priorities…
Seth falls asleep. It is time to return Home.
[…] “Yes, I understand now! How simple and clear everything is! Yes, yes, I remember! I know who I am and how I need to live. How marvelous everything looks like… I want to go back, I want to start over again, but this time I will perform better. That miracle was always inside me, of course! I had so much potential, I am part of Creation itself, but I chose to be a simple traveler. I chose to exist instead of living. I ignored my passions, my dreams… I had so many reasons to be grateful for, so many miracles! Now I understand the Universe, Creation, everything makes perfect sense… but I want to go back… I want one more chance!”