love conquers all?

love-conquers-allI’m a huge fan of this concept. Love conquers all! How beautiful it sounds… and yet how vague! The term “love” is widely attributed to love in a relationship between lovers. But it’s easy to notice how love also relates to other terms, as follows:

1. love for your family
I’m not a parent yet, but I can understand that, with some exceptions, most of us love their families, even if they may occasionally get into arguments with them. We can nourish what those who are close to us, to keep our family close, those who really love us. Of course, this also extends on the love for our children, brothers, sisters, not just for our parents. I think that, except some truly exceptional and negative family matters, most of us can agree that family love can always win.

2. love for other humans
This could be a biggie. The bible tells us we should love our neighbors, our friends, enemies, to turn the other cheek when we get punched in the face. I won’t get in any religious debates on this article, I just want to underline that we are being taught we should have love for everybody else. I believe in a better world, but I also know that some people in this world are not really worthy of my love. In the World War II, when the enemies were attacking us, should we have loved them in that moment? If our grandfathers who fought in that war would have gone on the battlefield with flowers instead of guns, while being heavily bombarded by the enemy, would that have stopped the war, or just have them killed? Some people say only love can conquer evil. I do not resonate with that idea. You can’t always defeat evil with love, just as you can’t always defeat evil with another evil, but sometimes you can defeat it using brute force! Yes, you heard that right! If the other guy is bigger and stronger than you and is trying to kill you, you can still be a good and loving man, while using brute force to stop him. It is a general misconception that using force means you are automatically an evil persona, every time. The man who kills the dragon, does that using his strength, not by wishful thinking of positive thoughts.

3. love in relationships
This is actually where I wanted to get in the first place. Even though I have talked about this subject before, I find it useful to continue debating about it. It always fascinated me how love between two lovers should always, magically, somehow overcome all problems, with no exception. But I’ve come to realize that, even though love in a relationship is a wonderful and powerful thing, is that really all it takes for a successful relationship?

Love between two completely different people is like having a dog and a cat in the same bed. Compatibility between lovers is probably one of the biggest ingredients for a successful long term relationship and this compatibility can be divided into: communications, moral values, physical attraction, respect and compatible personalities. Of course, having compatibility without love is not a good thing and some people say that love fades after a certain age. I choose to reject that theory, knowing that in my case, love actually increases with time.

4. love between friends
This may sound weird or gay, but it’s not like that. O true friendship between people can last a lifetime. It’s sad that some people get into arguments and can hold on to that grudge forever. I think true friends will always overcome any temporary arguments or other problems. The most valuable commodity, besides health and family, is based on friends. I truly love every friend I have, even though I sometimes act very weird and difficult to get along with.

5. love for life
Now we’re talking! Passion for life, for accomplishing goals, to spend time with friends, to laugh and cry, the beauty of a spring day while listening to the wind blowing the leaves. Yes, yes, yes! Love for life, in my case, will always win. unfortunately, caught in the daily routine, I sometimes forget what a great gift I was offered by coming on this vacation on planet Earth. If I could give one advice to my child (future child), which should cover life’s most important ideas, I would tell him: live, enjoy every second, everything, no matter how simple that thing may be, don’t be afraid to also suffer or have the experience of falling, confront your fears and never give up! Let’s start living, not just existing.

6. love for one self
This may sound narcissistic, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s about trusting yourself, being comfortable with yourself, accepting your personal characters – aka defects and deciding to continuously improve and grow. If I would be given the opportunity to change something about myself, I wouldn’t change anything. My personal defects, as many as they are, define me as a human being., make me unique, they give me homework for improving myself and make me love myself just the way I am. If you want to be loved by others, you do NOT have to love them first, just a general misconception.

To be loved by others, you need to first love yourself and then love the other and lastly they will love you back. Because of this reason, the idea of unconditional love can’t really be sustainable. Everything starts from you. If you want to make a change in the world, to help, to bring your contribution, than start with yourself first. Love yourself, accept everything about you, be all you can be and implicitly you will make a better world. Maybe you would even lend me a hand on that subject. 

What are your thoughts?

Next 'life' article: where to?

{author's note

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