Maybe I have insisted too long on the seeds of self-motivation. Maybe I am pushing too hard on something that is not on the same vibration as the zombie state I find myself in. What’s with all the motivational quotes everywhere? Why so many inspirational stories which should somehow give me the strength to keep going forward? Where is this “forward” and what’s so interesting about it?
Death doesn’t really begin when you’re old or ill, and all those movie stars quotes such as “live is not about how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up” make no real sense at all. I think I understand now what makes life worth living. I always said it’s about passion, but it’s more than that. It’s about motivation. People look for reasons to live, to give meaning to this obscene game where we’ve completely lost our sense of direction. Death begins where motivation ends.
Some people go to war, willingly risking their life for their country – thus they have found a reason to live. Others turn to money, objects or social status for finding a meaning. Motivation can also be gained through kids, people who have not yet found passion or motivation in their life, completely redirect their entire existential purpose towards their kids.
I think I have managed to accumulate a basic knowledge about the Universe, Creation, energy and all that is. An I know all is well, connected, alive, we are all one, etc. But when my motivation is love, I would be willing to burn down the entire Creation with all the Universes and the energy which permeates them, only to be able to hold my arms around the person I love.
Thus I am faced with the ongoing question: “what the hell am I doing here?” Love feels like a mirage, seemingly close but always far and even if one manages to find love, then he faces another myth: “and they lived happily ever after”. That’s not true. One of them will die first, leaving the other half here, alone, in complete agony and feeling helpless. The connection between them will always be there, but what’s the point if we are still at the limited level where we perceive death as a complete breakup.
All the so-called wise people in our history have brainwashed my mind with motivational quotes, but I know for a fact that NONE of those humanoid creatures which we see as wise men, has never really been in love and then have the guts to tell us that life is beautiful, once they lost the loved ones.
I throw the glove of hypocrisy on the face of all the people who made history and I challenge them to look into my eyes and tell me life is beautiful when you lack motivation. I think we are fooling ourselves and choose to sink deeper in the vortex of irrelevant things, such as the job, house rules, custom traditions, politics and religion. All these to avoid using our own brain and ask the question: WHY BOTHER? Maybe motivation is just a zombie antidote, to keep us moving.
Passion is great, probably the only good reason to live, besides love. But sometimes passion is not enough, neither is love, it’s all a race towards decomposition. Maybe if I would remember how to activate my telephaty on the highest level, how to travel in Creation using my imagination, how to activate instant self-healing, how to stop ageing and how to fly, maybe then it would be worth being here.
Maybe the biggest obstacle towards happiness is this physical form. I refuse to believe that life could be more difficult than it is in this physical form. In the meantime we can look for love and passion and make a motivation cocktail out of them, to justify our motivation for going forward. I know how it feels to be in complete harmony with everything and how it feels to hug Creation and I assure you it is nothing like this self-limited artificial daily state of being.
What does not kill you doesn’t make you stronger, but it changes you, leaves wounds and scars, it weakens your patience and the power to create motivation. If you don’t believe me, throw yourself in front of a speeding train and if you somehow manage to survive that, tell me how strong you feel then. Or choose to live with the one you love and when that person leaves before you and you will be left here, an old man, alone, but “strong”.
And it looks like the more you endure, the more reasons to endure you will experience. What’s the deal here? Did I come here to subject myself to challenges? The biggest “enemy” seems to be life in this physical form. I keep getting the feeling that I’m on the wrong planet. I seriously doubt this is where I wanted to be in the first place, maybe I was heading somewhere else. It’s not about something in particular, but it’s about everything.
There is said that we all meet during our dream state, make plans for this physical form and when we wake up, we start applying them. And we also use dreams to communicate with spirits or civilizations form other galaxies, or even relatives who past away. I dare Creation and all those contacting civilizations to reserve a direct line of communication with me, no more bullshit dreams, numerology or other cryptographic signs which I am supposed to decipher. Why so many workarounds, why not direct and conscious communication?
I wish I could rob humanity of its negativity, to leave it in a state where pain is just a memory. I would gladly choose to suffer for all eternity just so there would be no more suffering left in the world, it would be worth the effort. But unfortunately, in this physical form one can’t just take in all the negativity in the world. And instead of having the motivation to sacrifice yourself for the good of others, the rest of the people keep on suffering and you grow old and die, alone, in an soulless room, after you’ve also lost your beloved spouse, with dry tears on your wrinkled face, without actually saving anyone.
And by seeing this in the inevitable future, while my self-motivated mind keeps telling me life is beautiful, my heart asks: “compared to what?”