the friendship myth

the friendship myth - mitul prietenieimain subject: about friendship between men and women
reader’s category: those who can easily misunderstand the intentions of their opposite gender friends
reading time: approx. 11 min

I gave a lot of thought before deciding to write this article, because this idea could be seen as a little trick to forming lover relationships, but I decided to shed some light on it, despite possible repercussions. The chapter about human friendships is quite vast, so I will just focus on one particular subject now: the true friendship between a man and a woman.

I keep seeing beautiful women who spend a lot of times with other men who they consider to be “just friends” or “good friends”, and sometimes that’s exactly what they are. We can remember that men and women are in many ways two different species.

If something can be logical for a women, the same thing can be uncertain for a man, or ridiculous, etc. The same applies vice-versa. No matter how much I try to understand some situations between men and women, when it comes to friendship men and women can only be “just good friends” if there is no sexual attraction between them!

I know what a woman might think about this: “That’s absurd, I have so many male friends!” I know you do, but ask yourself this: how many of your male “friends” would be willing to sleep with you if they had the chance? If you are a pretty woman, you inevitably have men around you.

I know that people usually have many friends, especially when in highschool, but what kind of friendship is that when the man is physically attracted to his female “friend”? Or what kind of “friendship” is that when she can’t get her eyes out of her good male “friend”? That is the spark of a potential relationship, but it can also be a platonic relationship between a man and a woman, which could easily lead to sex while using alcohol as an excuse to party.

It’s quite funny when, after having had sex, they say it was just a temporary thing and it will not happen again and they should continue be “just good friends”. That sounds a bit twisted… This way of thinking was also presented in that well-known movie about those women in New York who could not keep their legs closed and kept sleeping with various men, but they were only friends who occasionally slept together, which is often seen as: “fuck friends”.

A few things that simply don’t belong between opposite gender “friends”
– kissing on the mouth
– childish games which involves some types of touching eachothers, dirt-talks, etc.
– discrete signs of jealousy

In other words, we should not give hope to someone, unless we really mean it, but we sometimes just like to play and that could affect the other person.

How many times have you seen this scenario?
Him and her are two friends. She is very pretty, cheerful, and has a sexual fragrance which makes you want to hug her, kiss her and never let her go. He is a nice and quiet guy, also her confident. They spend a lot of time together, have long conversations about their relationship with other people, they innocently kiss when they meet just like men shake their hands.

She sometimes shows a few signs of jealousy when he starts talking about other girls he likes. Discrete physical contact, sexual jokes masked but imaginary jokes. She cares for him but her way of treating him is sometimes evasive, confusing and contradictory. It can no longer be seen as a simply friendship or a potential relationship.

Time goes by and he gets more frustrated about this. It’s now official, he likes her much more than just a simple friend. So he decides to step up and tell her how he feels. With a lot of courage gathered from all the cells in his body, but with a weak voice, he begins talking to her, while his knees are trembling and fell like they are made of rubber.

She acts extremely surprised by what he tells her and tries to explain she cares about him very much, but only as a good friends, not a lover. Obviously, the story ends very predictably.

On the other hand, there are men who spend a lot of time with their female friends, being their confident and acting like a good friend, but they will absolutely have sex with some of those women first chance they get.

It’s pointless to say that all men are pigs. Generalizing a specie show lack of cerebral activity. Both men and women have pros and cons, there is not a good specie and a bad one. We are made to complete each other. There is nothing to blame when a man is physically attracted to a woman. It’s would be weird not to be attracted to women, would you like all men to be attracted exclusively to other men?

A woman can also be attracted to a man, but a long term friendship relationship will not be sincere, as long as there will be physical attraction. I really think that women should pay more attention to how they behave towards men who they only want to be friends with, and men should try to read better between the confusing lines of some women. Now that’s a challenge…

I invite all women to ask yourselves how many of your male “friends” would be willing to sleep with you, how many of them keep calling you or invite you out with no apparent reason, and use every pretext to spend more time with you.

The same goes for men as well, but with us things are a bit easier, because women rarely honk their cars when they see us on the sidewalk and they can typically hide better their feelings about a men.

I guess we can learn that our perfect partner will always have to be a best friend in the same time, not just a lover. Communication, trust, compatibility and love are key requirements for a great relationship. I have chosen to talk about this subject because nobody knows how men really think, except another man, just like women know themselves better then men know them. We are not exclusively bad or good and it’s vital to pay attention on some basic things common to both genders.

As long as there is physical attraction between one of them, there can not be a real and honest friendship between a man and a woman. Your lover should also be a best friend to you in the same time.

What are your thoughts?

Author: cristi

Note: English is not my first language, so if you spot any translation mistakes, please let me now via the contact page. If you find the information here useful, please share, like, tweet or add your comments. If you think project fabw is worh it, maybe you would consider getting involved it via the projects page. Thank you for being you.

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